Friday, September 08, 2006

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I'm reluctantly excited about getting out tonight. For the last week I've been struggling with depression in a big way. I'm not sure why. It's just been a difficult week.
As for tonight, I'm going to a writer's group for the first time. I've been so jazzed about going to this... then the time comes to leave and I find myself fighting, with everything in me, not to go. I would rather just call it a day and stay home. I do realize that for me this is a signal of depression setting in. You would think, that because I know this about myself, I would get out on purpose and not give in to these urges.
I am a majorly social person. I just love people (well, most of them ;). Once I get around others I feel so much better in general. But it's such a fight... I hate that. Why do we push against things that are so good for us? This isn't just an issue for me. Talking to others, no matter what their "issue" is, it can be such work to do what brings us life.
I know there is a spiritual battle going on that goes beyond what we can see. Shouldn't that be another reason to say, "Hello! Fight it!" But... do I do that? Many times no... but tonight I will.

Take care...