Adorable...

This evening I went to meet a friend for coffee at Starbucks.
I was feeling very... blah and looked it too.


I ran late getting up this morning which means my hair was up and with all the rain we've been getting it's a little out of control with curls - not enough to be cute, but just enough to look like I don't take care of it. Not to mention I'm overdue for a color and cut. It's just... chaos.
I did, however, have time to put on a little make-up and run out the door. Which, of course, by now was faded and a bit "smeary".
To top it all off I feel absolutely ginormous as I've gained quite a bit of water weight over the last two months with some medication changes (I'm told that this too shall pass...).

Anywho, fast forward to this evening, disheveled hair, make-up done early - no time for touch up and feeling like I'm wearing saran wrap even though it's just a tank top and shorts... oh yeah baby, I'm feeling hot - like a hot mess.


Towards the end of the meeting I took a break to hit the bathroom, on the way there a very sweet lady stopped me and told me "I am adorable". Really? I even asked her to repeat herself, because I must have heard her wrong, but that's what she said. adorable. This lady clearly had the spiritual gift of compassion...

I suddenly felt very awkward and though I wanted to remind her to call the doc to get her eyes checked I graciously thanked her and went to the restroom.

I have several thoughts as to what spurred her to stop me and say this.
1) She saw what a mess I was and was compelled to make me feel better. Which makes me feel worse because my blah is showing. Which I know it is, but to the point that strangers are feeling pity... I can't even go there.
OR
2) She was clearly an angel sent by God to remind me that He loves me know matter how I feel about myself. That He sees beyond the way I look and feel... and to Him I am adorable.

Honestly, I usually default to something like option 1, but I think today, I'm going with option 2. There are many times God has shown me His love when I least expect it and when I need it most.





Oh and BTW, I looked up ginormous and not only is it a real word, it's been around awhile - circa 1948.


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No more Chrsitmas?

Yes, I've finally done it. I removed the Christmas theme from my blog.
Well, at least it's done. I'm not thrilled with the title pic, but it will work for now...

So... now that that's taken care of, I wonder if I'll use it.





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The hard part about having a public blog is that you can't always say what you're thinking, or would like to.
Instead, I sit back and quietly contemplate how I could word things so that the thoughts would come across crystal clear, or that I would make sure and type out each and every single word so that the rumor mill will not be working overtime. I'm not saying that those who read this are yappers, but when you read something that seems to be written in code, it's normal to wonder - what's "really" going on.

I don't know how to write in such a way as to not leave questions hanging.
So here's an honest update on our lives in short.
We are a normal family that is dealing with the typical issues of daily living. Nothing life shattering, nobody's being admitted to rehab, nor are they in hiding from the police. Though I will admit I almost took a hiatus to hide from my dentist to avoid a certain root canal last week, but I digress...

My youngest is finding out that you can't trust others no matter how convincing they sound and that contrary to popular belief, his parents really are on his side. My oldest is learning that work is... a work in progress. My middle is realizing that the economy and hiring freezes are everywhere, regardless of the season. My husband is working to keep it all together and running like a fine tuned machine and I... well... I'm not sure where I am.
I'm realizing that the older I am the less I know. The more I think I finally figured it out, I realize I never knew what "it" was to begin with. And just when I think I have it all together, I realize I forgot to buy duct tape to keep it that way.

Life is a little confusing, irritating, joyful, loving, and maddening right now.
I guess if we didn't have these little interruptions, we would grow complacent and not see the good in it all. So... in all things praise Him. I guess that's where I am... praising Him.



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I Heart the Container Store...

We went there this afternoon to look for some crates for storage.
It was awesome! Until today I have only been to one other Container Store when we were in Austin. I wasn't as impressed with it there. I'm not sure why. Clearly, I must have been running short on time... or was I? Could my family have been averting my attention to avoid spending Saturday afternoons at a store that could capture my attention for hours on end?

I have this thing for office supplies. I don't know what it is, but nothing makes me happier than finding funky file folders and colorful magnets.
The minute we walked in my family had this look as if they had been pulled into a black hole. The best part, I was shopping for some things we needed at church so they couldn't make me leave!
This is actually our day off and we were really supposed to be wandering the mall with the guys so, believe it or not, I did try to hurry. Did they appreciate that? I don't think so. They had this look as though someone had shoved bamboo shoots under their fingernails.
Try as I might to make them appreciate the grander of household items and the 101 ways that pasta can be stored, they weren't buying it.
Honestly... they didn't really complain when we were in the store.
Then how do I know this was such torture for them?
As we left the mall, I heard Brandon say that if a terrorist ever wanted to get information from him, they just needed to take him there. He would tell them anything they wanted to know.


Nice.
Next week, I am vowing to find An American Girls Doll store to take them to.


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Roadblocks

For the last year I've been really frustrated with my inability to sit down and write. Maybe I've thrown out a blog or two here and there, but nothing consistent.

I've even checked out books at the library to help motivate me - that didn't work. Most just tell you how to get published, or how to write a paragraph. Totally not what I'm looking for. I wanted something to kick me and scream "JUST DO IT!".

Several factors are really helping me to refocus on this awesome outlet.
One, I have a sweet friend that just started her own blog. Reading hers has helped to re-inspire me to add to my own.
The second? I finally found an awesome book that has helped me to get past all the roadblocks I set up for myself. It has blown all of my excuses away so that I have nothing left and at least take a few steps in the right direction.
Writing Brave and Free -Encouraging Words for People Who Want to Start Writing

The Ten Minute Exercise
In this book, the authors talk about The Ten Minute Exercise.
This is where you write about anything in any style you would like for ten minutes.
I have actually tried this before. Did it work? No.
So what makes me think it will help me this time? Nothing.
As a matter of fact, it's exactly that thought that keeps me from even trying.

I'm old enough to know that I'm really good at starting things - it's the follow through I struggle with. I've seen myself do it over and over only to fail at keeping up with the challenge. Oh, I've started strong and even kept different things/activities going for a long time, but they all fall by the wayside as life progresses. Sometimes it can take months to see something slowly unravel and sometimes it can drop as quickly as the next day, but rest assured I'm very aware of this struggle. So much so that I've let it stop me from even trying, especially something as public as the blog.

Enough! I'm tired of the guilt I've put on myself and I'm tired of not trying because of fear of failing.

In Writing Brave & Free I found this quote that I can totally hang my hat on right now.
If you want to start writing you have to start.
The road is made by walking.

So for now, I'm going to try writing for ten minutes a day. Some I may not post, some I will. Either way, I promise to give myself grace and learn to enjoy the process again.

It's good to be back.


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