Homesick

Today is the anniversary of my mom's death. She died at the very young age of 54. I'm a thousand miles away so I can't take flowers to her grave. Nonetheless, I find myself wanting to do something special for her.

The picture above is of black-eyed susans. They were my mom's favorite. When we lived in Pataskala there were fields full of these throughout the neighborhood. I used to bring them home to her all the time. First, she would completely freak out because of the bugs, but then she seemed to enjoy them.

I could have picked a better picture for her today. Maybe one with a close up that shows the intricate beauty of these bright flowers -- but I wanted a picture of what I see in my memory. Big fields full of plants and weeds with these rays of sunshine littered throughout.

Below is a song by Mercy Me that tugs at the heart of anyone who's lost a loved one.

Mom where ever you are, I know that God has made a big front porch for you with comfortable outdoor chairs for sitting and enjoying the cool breeze. I pray that He also blessed you with a field filled with black-eyed susans in your front yard.
Nana and I talk about you all the time, we miss you so.
I love you...

Homesick
You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now...