Monday, October 22, 2007

Somewhere Over the Rainbow...

One of my sons, Brandon, likes to wear his hair long. I really don't mind, as long as it stays clean and he takes care of it (which he does). He's a good kid/young man. He looks rough on the edges, but he seriously has a big heart.

OK, so I can deal with the long hair, but what do you do when your son now wants to color it, not brown, not blonde, but like... purple? I used to be really against this and I mean really against this. I think more so because I was afraid of what people might think of him (or us). Yes, that's right. When it came down to it, it had a lot more to do with my own pride than anything else.
Regardless of the reason, we had made the stand - said no - and it was non-negotiable... until about six months ago, when I (yes, I) colored my hair pink.
Pink!?! Me?!? Can you believe it?!? I lived through the 80's and never did that stuff.
Before you need to pull on your Depends trying to picture it, please note that it was not my whole head of hair. Even in a moment of temporary insanity, I don't want to look like a giant Easter egg from the Dollar Store. It was just a small section on the top of my head. Our whole team did it, but that's a whole different blog for another time. Let's just say I blame Sarah for it, or more to the point, I need to thank her for it.

I was really embarrassed that first Sunday, I remember telling literally everyone I passed in the hall why my hair had this odd color in it. I was so afraid of what people would think of me. Looking back now, it was a lot of fun. We took pictures together and laughed... a lot.
Even with the laughter I do want to note that this is not something I'm looking to repeat anytime soon. I will, however, continue to color my hair, because this is a habit that just won't die. The reality is that I've had more product on my hair than L'Oreal, Revlon, and Clairol can make in one year. But, when it comes down to it, the ROY G BIV spectrum just isn't my thing.

Unfortunately now, after all of this, I have a new issue... to my son - hair color is open game.
We told him that since I did it once, he could too. So he bought some purple and put it on a small portion on his hair. It actually looked OK.

The next time, he decides he wants to cover his whole head purple... and he tells Matthew first - big mistake!
Matthew's eyes got wide and suddenly he finds a "look" to give me.
Here is where my own life lesson pays off:
I, for a change, am the one that remains calm. I'm actually able to talk to Brandon without freaking out. Ergo, I could reason with him a bit.
Since I was able to stay calm and not see this as an attack on my parenting we were really able to talk about it. The really awesome part was (because I could stay so calm) he didn't see what I was saying as a defensive strike to rebel against, but rather seasoned advice on hair color. From there we were able to talk about options and finally settled on a few streaks here and there.

I have slowly learned to deal with my fear of what other people think.
I can't make everyone happy and I don't need to put that pressure on my kids.
The most important point (above all) is that Brandon loves Jesus, his family, and others. He's a hard worker, loves to serve others and (though he may not admit it) is a big hearted guy.

I can't say I'm thrilled in any way, shape, or form that he likes to color his hair, but I totally need to pick my battles and this one is really nothing compared to the things I see other families struggling with.


After all of this, there is one thing I'm left wondering...

Did Sampson's parents have these sort of issues?

I mean, everybody had long hair back then, but his obviously stood out a bit. God had told them never to cut his hair, but I wonder if they felt the need to explain that to everyone they met?

1 comment:

Desi Brown said...

Whoohoo!!! Way to step out there and set a good example to the boys. It's not about what others think anyway, it's about what Christ thinks of us and He adores each and everyone of us. So proud of you guys!!! Can't wait to see a picture of the cool purple haired Brandon!