This afternoon we took our son, Ben (15), to the airport. He’s going to be gone a little over a week on a mission trip to Los Angeles.
Wow! That sounds very calm and mature of me to say it like that.
Now let me tell you what my mother's heart is saying:
This afternoon we took my youngest baby son, Ben, to the airport (for his first airplane ride ever!). He’s going to be gone for eight long days and seven nights on a mission trip to Los Angeles.
*whew* Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.
Seriously speaking...
Something happened today. I was OK with him leaving, though I knew we'd miss him. I was good with what he'll be doing there and even excited about what God will show him while he's gone.
And yet... something changed today...
We watched as Ben made his way through airport security. I even stood on my tip toes to see him as he crossed through the final metal detector frame. At that time it just seemed to hit me... something changed.
It's as if there are so many doorways that we as parents must go through. Most we see coming and we meet them as they approach with open arms - whether they're good or bad - because we knew those doors were on their way. Sometimes we walk through them with all the celebration and fanfare as our child takes their first steps. Sometimes we walk through with tears and hugs as they learn some of life's toughest struggles as they become teens.
I learned today that there is one doorway that I never realized existed. I don't even quite no how to name it. All I can say is that it hit me as I could no longer see the top of his baseball hat on the other side of airport security. This door was not embraced with fanfare and celebration, nor was I able to give the hugs as we were yards away from each other with 94 security personnel between us. It did, however, come with tears.
Not tears of grief, not even really tears of sadness... I think.
It was just like a reality that my son has grown up. The last of my little boys has stepped towards independence. The youngest, who of all of them, was told he wouldn't live to see his first birthday.
There he goes. All grown up and not only alive, but thriving! The goodness of God still amazes me sometimes.
No, I wasn't sad. I'm very proud of him and the young man God is shaping him into. I guess, I was just overwhelmed with God's faithfulness that he brought Ben through such an amazing doorway. One that I never even realized was on its way.
I guess I always saw this milestone as the day he moves out - that was my visual doorway.
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